Two years ago, Aoife (my first born) was around 3 months old and I was in the throes of the postpartum period. Completely besotted by my baby I couldn’t of been happier, I was shattered, but so happy.
Two years ago, I also had a full head of long, blonde hair; long eyelashes, that I could pop a bit of mascara on on those days I couldn’t be completely bothered by make up; and eyebrows that were messy but very much present!
It was around this time that someone pointed out my hair was getting a little thin on the sides. Most people agreed it was probably just hormones and It’s normal. A month or so later I was finding bald patches throughout my hair. Unfortunately, I had a job getting seen by a GP as I had mentioned earlier hairloss can be considered normal in the postpartum period! By June 2016 I was missing most of the hair at the front and was coping with wearing wide headbands. By August 2016 the headbands weren’t cutting it, I moved onto wearing buffs (head scarves) on a daily basis and wigs for special occasions. It was around this time that I decided to take some control and shave what was left of my hair. I felt such relief at no longer having to see clumps of hair around the house! I had my eyebrows and eyelashes still so to some extent I still felt attractive and feminine.
I saw a dermatologist and was basically told there wasn’t a lot they could do for me but I got a confirmed diagnosis of alopecia. I was sent on my way with a wig prescription and advised to take a vitamin B supplement. Disappointing to say the least but not sure what I expected…
Following this my eyebrows gradually fell out and most of my eyelashes. My whole face changed, I didn’t recognise the face that looked at me in the mirror. I’m a bit more used to it now, although I still avoid mirrors.
All this change, as you can imagine had a huge impact on my mental health (although being the stubborn cow that I am I never did seek the help I probably should have) I was miserable and completely withdrawn, I felt hopeless and didn’t want to see people. I had panic attacks. I tortured myself with the possibility people were saying things behind my back. There was a light in my life. My daughter. I imagine I could of sank into a darker spiral of self-pity if I didn’t have Aoife. I still do have massive self-esteem issues but I have more good days than bad.
In June 2017, I found out I was expecting my second child and coincidentally experienced some regrowth although this never really amounted to anything.
Two years on and Aoife is now an incredibly sassy two year old and I have a beautiful 8 week old son.
I have some of my hair, but it is slowly but surely falling out again… whether this is to do with the alopecia or whether it is to do with postpartum I won’t ever really know, It’s likely a mix of both! Eyebrows and most of my eyelashes are still very much absent! Who knows maybe one day I will get to experience putting on mascara and feeling wind in my hair but until then I’m coming to terms with the fact that this is now what I will look like.
Thank you for taking the time to read. If you are experience something similar I can highly recommend seeking support from Alopecia UK. A charity that works to raise awareness and support those with Alopecia.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You’re absolutely gorgeous, either way! Do not let your hair define you! My five year old was diagnosed about 3 years ago, she is completely bald too. She recently started getting eyelashes, but we moved to a different state and they unfortunately started falling out again. Stay strong! ❤
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Thank you for your lovely comment. Bless your daughter! 💚💚
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Great post! I had an awful time of it too. I’m about 3 years into my hair loss now and am finally learning to come to terms with it (I saw a counsellor, she said the experience of losing your hair is similar to grief and that kind of makes sense in lots of ways). I’m not brave enough to go hairless (I wonder if I ever will be) but have found solutions that keep it covered up. Thanks for sharing your story!xx
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It is certainly a learning curve. Sometimes I think I have come to terms with it, other times I find myself in tears at the thought this is what I look like now! xx
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what a beautiful and brave post to write. Your daughter will be proud and you look amazing!
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What an incredible story to share, you’re a fantastic lady and I’m sure this will help so many people going through the same thing
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What a brave post to write and you look lovely with and without hair. The wigs really suit you too. Well done for sharing your story. I honestly don’t know how I’d cope if it happened to me but looks like you’ve really embraced it. xxx
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Hi, love reading the posts in Alopecia UK but your journey sounds so similar to mine!! Although I am 3 years in and my children are 16 & 18. All hair fell out first then eyebrows and Lashes (think that was the worst bit!! Miss my mascara sooooo much! )
Like yourself I have tried to move on, as you don’t have much choice! Lol But do struggle with my identity and looking in the mirror! Good luck with it all and even though I have the same feelings I think you look amazing xxxxx
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What a brave post to write and what a brave lady you are. You totally rock it but I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is to come to terms with. Well done for sharing your story x
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Thank you for taking the time to read my story 💙 x
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Wow, what an incredible journey and a brave post to write. It must have been so difficult at the time, especially when you didn’t have answers around what was happening. You always look amazing though, with or without hair you are naturally beautiful and carry off any look! I hope you find a way to feel comfy in your own skin soon xxx
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I can’t imagine this, thank you for sharing. It can be so hard to work up the courage to seek help about health issues, both mental and physical. I think that you are so brave to share this!
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Your hats and scarfs are so stylish!
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Thank you! x
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Gosh what a wonderfully brave post. It must have been so hard for you but well done for sharing this and it is sure to help others.
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Thank you for taking the time to read 💙
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Oh lovely this is so brave of you to write. Such a tough time for you, I can only imagine. So pleased you’re coming to terms with it though, it will make you happier x
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Such a brave and inspiring post – you look bloody fantastic! I cannot imagine loosing my hair as its such a big part of our identity isn’t it but you rock it. One of my close friends also has alopecia and she too takes it in her stride! #GetMoorefromlife
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This is such a brave post hun! You absolute star for taking the power back and shaving your hair off. I hope you get used to the new way you look. I personally think you look beautiful.
Thank you for joining #ThursdayTeam
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Such a lovely post and it’s great to chat about it and share your experience. You’re a beautiful women and super strong. Thank you for linking up with #GetMooreFromLife
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So brave of you to share. My husband suffers from alopecia too, and shaved his head at one point.
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Wow! One of my friends was diagnosed with alopecia shortly after she had her son. Her eyelashes have started to grow back now but not a lot else.
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If I could have 1 thing back it would be my eyelashes!
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Such a brave, honest post I am sure this will help others who are also experiencing this. One of the girls at my teenage daughter’s school has alopecia and the way she gets on with it is inspiring x
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If you don’t find the strength to get on with It, it can be a very mentally debilitating condition! x
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I had never heard of this disease before, so your campaign is working. You look absolutely stunning, beautiful inside and out x
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It wasn’t something I was too familiar with when it first happened! x
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Thanks for sharing I know how frightening it can be when hair loss starts I have a bold patch which is nothing compared to your case but has affected my confidence
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It is amazing how much of a part hair plays in making you feel attractive!
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It’s a shame that you weren’t seen sooner but thanks so much for sharing your journey x
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Thank you for taking the time to read about my experience. Hopefully the more we talk about it the sooner others can find help! x
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This is such an interesting post to read. I’m sorry you’re going through this but raising awareness is something you should be proud of.
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You are a very brave, beautiful lady – I am shocked that there has been very limited help for you 😦 Sim xxx
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You are so incredibly brave to have gone through this without seeking additional support – it must have been incredibly hard. Your courage is inspiring and you are incredibly beautiful
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This post really moved me. I suffered pretty badly with post partum hair loss after all three of my pregnancies, and having a brother who has alopecia, I was convinced it was all going to go. I was lucky, and whilst I did suffer years of strange patchy hairlines, I never lost my full head of hair. It did however get me quite down, so I can only imagine how you must feel. You are, for the record, incredibly beautiful, with or without hair, and your love for your children shines out of this post, and you, like sunshine.
Thank you so much for sharing with #coolmumclub xx
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Thank you so much 💖
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This is such a wonderfully brave and honest post. I’m sure it will help lots of other women feel less alone x
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You have coped so well and are extremely beautiful. A lot of people I can imagine would completely freak out. Inspiring.
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You are an amazing woman!!! I can’t imagine what you’ve been through but you are so strong!!!!! Thank you for sharing this! Xxxx
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Thank you for your lovely words Sarah 💙💙
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