Mum Guilt… What’s the Deal?

Mum guilt… I don’t think I have ever met a mother that doesn’t feel guilty about something or other to do with their children!

Some of the things I feel guilty about are miniscule and some are huge.

I felt ridiculously guilty when I was pregnant with Cassius for turning Aoife’s whole world upside down, especially as she was too young to even understand what was going on. Now though I feel anything less than guilty about it because she adores her baby brother!

I feel guilty about not always being able to attend to them when they need me. Like when I’m feeding Cassius or when I’m helping Aoife brush her teeth! I wish it was possible to split myself in two sometimes!

I feel guilty when I become frustrated or can’t cope but I know it is important to look after myself too!

I feel guilty for leaving them. Although I haven’t less Cassius the time is coming when I will but I need to remember I need some time to be me and not just be mummy.

I’m not the only one though. Here are other causes of mum guilt.

Technology…

Kate of Ever After With Kids often feels guilty for “using the television as a babysitter. Thank you Elsa!”

I don’t think I’ve met many parents that don’t do that one. Ryder and the gang help out a lot here!

Epril of Eps and Amy also feels similar! She says she feels bad for “giving my kids too much screen time and iPad just to get things done and not having quality time with them as I’m always busy. I feel bad for their development.”

Food

Rebecca of My Girls and Me says she feels guilty for “giving jars when she really wanted to give all fresh, home made meal”.

No one is perfect but food choices are often a huge source of mum guilt. I know I feel massively guilty when I end up doing beige dinners for Aoife!

Staying Indoors and Being Exhausted

Lianne of Ankle Biters Adventures says she feels guilty when “having a chilled day in as they should be out having fun”.

Yep, so guilty of this especially after a rough night with minimal sleep!

Ayse of Arepops feels guilty for “Being too tired to constantly play dolls. Especially when you get told off because you’re not playing right”.

Child Free Time

Jess of Tantrums to Smiles says she feels guilty for “going out! Honestly, when my husband suggests doing something I think ‘oh the kids would love that too!’ I feel guilty if we go anywhere and they didn’t get to come”.

Natasha of Kiddo Adventures relates to this too. She says she feels guilty for “wanting me time. It’s so needed but I feel so crappy leaving her with her grandparents just so I can do something fun for myself”.

Working

Claire of This Mummy Rocks told me of how she felt guilty for “at one point working two jobs and lots of hours when my children were younger to make ends meet. Until I decided to go self-employed and work from home so I could be there for them”.

Michelle of What Mummy Thinks also felt work related guilt! “I felt guilty for going to work! How silly is that? My daughter would hate having to go to breakfast club and afterschool club so as a compromise, I cut down my hours. Thankfully she is much happier now I can do all but one pick up.”

And then of course there is the guilt you feel when like Kate at Five Little Stars you feel guilty for eating their treats. She says she feels guilty for “Eating large proportions of the kids chocolate. But the guilt is brief”.

I agree it is a brief guilt and under a certain age they won’t even realise haha!

Thank you to my fellow bloggers for sharing their feelings and thank you for taking the time to read!

Siobhan x

Mudpie Fridays
Surrey Mama
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14 thoughts on “Mum Guilt… What’s the Deal?

  1. Oh the mum guilt is rife!! Ryder and the pups often babysit for us a lot too but hey ho! It isn’t everyday at least. And the guilt I felt when pregnant with my second was unbearable somedays. Of course she arrived and her big sister loved her and the guilt was pointless. Definitely a relatable post. Thank you for joining #ThursdayTeam

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  2. The guilty thing comes from tiredness and just wanting that moment of peace, where all your energy has been used up. We then just go for the easy way out. I would say that feeling guilty like so many others have said. Its part of being a parent.

    John M

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  3. I think mum guilt is just part of motherhood and if we didn’t love our kids as much as we do then we probably wouldn’t feel so guilty. But I do think we’re sometimes too hard on ourselves. I’m through the other side with a grown up daughter and grandchildren and I think we did a pretty good job parenting.

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  4. All of these things! I felt huge guilt about going back to work and enjoying the adult company. I feel guilt every time we spent a Saturday or Sunday camped out in the living room with films despite it being nice outside. Oh and “Ryder and his team of pups, will come and save the day”…… Yep I know it off by heart!

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  5. I remember those days. Especially at the start of becoming a mum as I was so unsure of everything I was doing. But I am now more confident and way more chilled out about the whole thing. You can’t be perfect and as long as you care and try, that is what really matters

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  6. Aw this is so true! How much guilt about everything! At the moment I feel guilty about working. Although I’m trying to create something that means I don’t have to go back to conventional work and then I can see my children more, take them to school etc. It appear that I am always working around them. I’m not sure which is better! #ThursdayTeam

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